The Useless Machine

Add some geeky fun to meal times with these awesome wind-up robot salt and pepper shakers. Wind-up the robots, place them down and they will waddle down the table so passing the salt has just become a thing of the past.

Become a professional latte artist and decorate your morning coffee to suit your mood with the Coffee Latte Art Printer. Upload photos from your phone or choose between the 66 preset classic coffee decoration patterns.

Ensure your Valentine's day is lit with this joint holder Valentine's card. The card is printed on premium, heavy cardstock and includes a protective joint holder. Simply peel off the back, insert a prerolled doobie and attach.

Take a break and enter a world of fantasy with the Porn for Women book. It features a photo collection of attractive men cleaning, cooking, and even listening, accompanied by steamy captions such as "I love a clean house!".

Get the perfect mix between mic, game, chat, and system volumes with the Razer audio mixer. The 4 channel design with plug and play makes configuring a breeze and the RGB lights can be synced with your Chroma ecosystem.

Enjoy your favorite finger lickin’ good combo without gaining a shred of weight. The KFC chicken combo keycaps come with a bucket, soda, fries, mashed potatoes and cookies and will have you itching to use your F1 - F12 keys.

Have your switches looking well-hung with a Penis Light Switch. They are available in different colors to superbly align with any phallus-focused decor. The perfect way to prank your spouse, friends, and uninvited guests.

Toss a pen to your Witcher with this 3D printed Geralt of Rivia pen holder. The Witcher pen holder figurine is hand painted with non-toxic acrylic paint and will add a touch of monster slaying magic to your desk or home office.

Take the guesswork out of fishing with this bluetooth smart fish finder. The fish finder has a depth range of 135ft, a 10+ hour battery life and a smartphone app that displays detailed waterbed and structure contour mapping.

Wrap your baby up in the Subway Baby Blanket to make the cutest sandwich in town. It is designed for babies up to 18 months and included is an original sandwich wrap blanket and a funny hat with vegetables.

Spraying WD-40 in difficult-to-reach spots has never been easier than it is with this flexible EZ reach straw. The flexible straw bends and helps you spray how you want while making it easier to reach every nook and cranny.

Everybody loves the smell of cooked bacon, and now you can always have the smell of bacon in the air with this bacon air freshener. It comes with a string for hanging in your car and it measures 4" (10.2cm) tall.